In the Middle..

I feel like I'm in the middle of two giant mountains...

On one side of me, there is my past.. And on the other side, my future.

And right now I'm just sitting in the middle. 

The past two years have been full of planning for college, decorating dorm rooms, meeting and building relationships with roommates, getting involved and finding some of the most wonderful friendships I've ever had in my church college group, learning what it means to truly have a relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ, going on my first out of country mission trip to Rwanda, Africa, learning how to budget my money and be responsible, becoming my own person, growing up and figuring out how to stand on my own two feet (I'm still in the process of learning that one)

As I look back on my first two years of college, I have so many mixed emotions. I smile because there are so. many. GREAT. memories. Then I want to cry because that chapter of my life has come to a close. I won't ever live in a dorm room again. I won't be experiencing the crazy ups and downs of dorm-life and living with a roommate anymore. I won't ever be the "new kid" at school again (which I don't really mind). I won't ever be in the "easy A" classes like speech or music appreciation again. I never have to take a history or english course again (another one that I don't mind). Those are all things I have experienced. Past tense. And it just seems so weird.

I am about to start Nursing School. I am a Junior in college. I am getting married in one year. I have to grow up. I have to learn how to take care of people and diagnose their diseases. I have to give shots and change bandages and assist in surgeries. I may be helping deliver babies, or take care of critical care patients in an ICU. I have to learn how to cook.. And not just microwave some chicken or pop in a pizza, but really cook a good healthy meal. I have to learn how to sew on a button and iron clothes. I have to learn how to plant and take care of a garden without killing everything in it. I have to learn how to be a NURSE and a WIFE. Oh my goodness!!!!

Looking forward, the future is so so so exciting. I'm not sad about growing up or moving on with my life. It's just starting to hit me. This will be my last Christmas as a "kid" at home. I could be cooking my own Thanksgiving meal next year (although not likely, it still seems crazy!). Josh and I will be our own family next year. I will be a Nurse in two years. In the real world. With a real job. No teachers or "help". No fake  nursing scenarios. Life really is moving on and I really am growing up. Not just playing house or pretending to be a doctor.. This is the real deal!

But right now, I have one month. No school. No job. I do have wedding plans to think about, but nothing to really start on for at least another month or two. So here I sit. In the middle of my past and my future. Remembering so many sweet times, and looking forward to what may be. So I don't really know what to do with this month. I'm thinking about getting a little job or maybe volunteering at the Ark Animal Shelter. I'm not really sure. God will have the ultimate say-so. I think this will be a great preparation time before the madness of Nursing School and wedding plans really start. Just a sweet time for me to grow more in love with my Abba Father. To let HIM prepare my heart for these future events. So HE can make me into the wife and nurse that HE wants me to be. For HIS glory.

This blog won't have much of a conclusion.. Just had all of that on my mind and thought it would help to get it out. Maybe someone out there knows what I'm going through. A mixture of deep sadness over truly growing up, yet inexplicable happiness about becoming the woman God wants me to be.

Please be in prayer for me during this time. I'd really appreciate it. =]

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope"

--Jeremiah 29:11

Rwanda- Part Two

This Rwanda update is late, and I'm really sorry about that.. Life has been crazy, busy, and absolutely wonderful-- I'll have to update about all that another time. =]

Alright, where was I? Oh yes. Day one in Kibavu, Rwanda! The building we arrived at was not your typical "church". It was a small home made of wood with blue shudders, a blue door, and a tin roof. This was one of the nicest buildings in the village. Many people were crowded outside of the church; most of the adults sat on long hand-made benches, the children sat on the grassy front yard of the church, and we sat in wooden chairs that had backs built on them (only the very nicest chairs have backs on them.. they would probably be equivalent to our American Lazy-Boy recliners). We started out with a wonderful time of worship. The people danced and smiled.. Waved their hands in the air and jumped up and down for Jesus. They had so much joy. I believe this was one of the first times I've seen true, unbridled, untamed, unashamed, heart-felt worship of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.. I have to imagine that is ALOT what heaven will look like.

After worship, Carrie presented the Evangecube to the crowd. An Evangecube is how we share Jesus with people in Rwanda (and in other countries as well). Most of these people cannot read, so they learn through stories. The Evangecube presents the Word of God in a story form with pictures. If you would like to learn more about this or see how it works, go to www.simplyshareJesus.com. Next, I shared my testimony with the crowd gathered at the church (a crowd that had at least doubled in size since we began worship). After this, Alex asked if anyone would like to accept Jesus as their Savior. He did not ask everyone to close their eyes so the ones who wanted to profess faith wouldn't feel "embarrassed"... He didn't make promises not to "call them out" in front of everyone.. No. He said "if you want to accept Jesus, stand up and walk to the front!" Let me tell you, those people were PROUD to walk forward and say "I WANT TO KNOW JESUS!" They were beaming with joy and pride that they could know the Savior of the world, His forgiveness, His love.

I just wonder why so many times we have to make those "we won't embarrass you" promises.. Why do we have to coax people out of their seats to respond? Why is it so hard to get someone to raise their hand when no one is even looking around? Why are we not running from our seats, joyfully celebrating the fact that we are given the free gift of salvation, graciously and mercifully saved from an eternal Hell? Do we not get the reality of that truth? Do we just not get it? I don't know the answer to those questions.. I've even felt that fear of embarrassment.. But it just makes me wonder...

Back to Rwanda.. We trained teams that first afternoon on how to share the Evangecube, and we gave them their own Evangestrips. These were just like the Evangecube except they're more like bookmarks. We then divided everyone into teams, each team equipped with at least one Evangestrip and "response cards" and we sent them out in different directions around the village (each North American on their own witnessing team with their ministry partner/translator). So Carrie and I went opposite directions down the road.. That was a little unnerving, but not as much as what would come next. Children ran all around me down the dirt path, many grabbing my fingers or touching my skirt or arm. They would laugh almost every time I made eye contact with them. So so so precious.

We came up to a small compound of about five mud huts. In the center, a man had carried out two long benches from his home. I sat down on the bench and 7 or so adult Rwandans gathered around, and a few children as well. Then Enock looked at me and said "Okay, they really want to hear from you. Please share your testimony and the Evangecube" .. This was it. My first Gospel presentation. I said a quick prayer, and the Holy Spirit took over from there. I don't remember what I said, but I do remember feeling like it just poured out. I said things that I didn't plan on saying.. Things that I believe the Holy Spirit prompted me to say. It began raining in the middle of the Evangecube presentation, and in Rwanda, when it rains you don't just sit out in it. You go into the nearest mud hut. You don't have to know whose hut it is, you just go inside. So we gathered around the small mud hut, and our group of 7 had doubled to 14 at least. People kept piling in seeking shelter from the rain. (A funny note: many people came rushing in like it was no big deal, then they looked my direction.. The look on their faces when they saw a white person sitting in a mud hut in their village was so funny!.. It's unheard of for a "muzungu" to come to your village, much less inside of your hut! They would almost jump back from surprise.) Well, I re-started the Evangecube from the beginning, and almost every single adult in that hut accepted Jesus as their Savior! I could hardly believe it! Here is a picture of this sweet group of people:

The days following this were much the same. We would arrive at the church and have a wonderful worship service (the BEST way to start the day in the village).. Then we would divide in teams and go out witnessing. As the second and third day came around, we let the nationals begin sharing on their own. Nationals are people who live in the village; they volunteer to lead a group around the village so we don't get lost. My national's name was Anastasia, and though we spoke different languages, I felt as if she was my sister by the end of the week. I miss her so much. This is a picture of Anastasia sharing her faith with a friend (who chose to accept Jesus by the way!! YAY)

Another thing we did was go to homes and have "I am SECOND" groups. These people did not know they could participate in a Bible study. Many think you must be a pastor to pray or talk about the Bible. They were so excited when we would read a passage and the ask "What do YOU think this means? What do you think this tells you about God?" Their eyes would light up, and they would give the deepest, most sincere answers. It just showed me that the Spirit is the only Teacher. These people who had heard about Jesus for the FIRST time were giving answers that were more "spiritual" than anything I was saying. Amazing. This next photo is of a woman who we had a SECOND group with. She has seven children (some of them photographed). She told me that the witchdoctors killed her husband, and cut off both of her eldest son's legs. Not only this, but her youngest son has a mental disability. This woman was left alone to raise seven children, one legless and one with mental issues, yet she still told me that God loves her and takes care of her. Wow, and I question God's love when I have a "bad day" ... Unshakable faith is the only words I can think of to describe this precious woman (she is the one to the left. The woman in red is Anastasia, my national).

There are so many more stories I could tell from Rwanda. So many neat experiences. God revealed Himself in more ways than I could ever type out. He is so good and so faithful.

All I can say is this.... When you feel a calling to go somewhere, GO. Look into it. God called me to Africa during the Go Serve celebration at Jackson Way. There were no trips to Africa being presented, but I knew that was where I was supposed to go. And four months later, I was in Rwanda.. Preaching His Holy Word through the strength of the Spirit in mud huts. WOW! Glory to the Father :)

We are all commanded to GO and share God's Word and the story of Jesus, but God can lead you to a specific place. Keep your heart open and listen to Him. Even when it doesn't make sense, even when it seems impossible.. God is greater than circumstance, and He will supply.