In the Middle..

I feel like I'm in the middle of two giant mountains...

On one side of me, there is my past.. And on the other side, my future.

And right now I'm just sitting in the middle. 

The past two years have been full of planning for college, decorating dorm rooms, meeting and building relationships with roommates, getting involved and finding some of the most wonderful friendships I've ever had in my church college group, learning what it means to truly have a relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ, going on my first out of country mission trip to Rwanda, Africa, learning how to budget my money and be responsible, becoming my own person, growing up and figuring out how to stand on my own two feet (I'm still in the process of learning that one)

As I look back on my first two years of college, I have so many mixed emotions. I smile because there are so. many. GREAT. memories. Then I want to cry because that chapter of my life has come to a close. I won't ever live in a dorm room again. I won't be experiencing the crazy ups and downs of dorm-life and living with a roommate anymore. I won't ever be the "new kid" at school again (which I don't really mind). I won't ever be in the "easy A" classes like speech or music appreciation again. I never have to take a history or english course again (another one that I don't mind). Those are all things I have experienced. Past tense. And it just seems so weird.

I am about to start Nursing School. I am a Junior in college. I am getting married in one year. I have to grow up. I have to learn how to take care of people and diagnose their diseases. I have to give shots and change bandages and assist in surgeries. I may be helping deliver babies, or take care of critical care patients in an ICU. I have to learn how to cook.. And not just microwave some chicken or pop in a pizza, but really cook a good healthy meal. I have to learn how to sew on a button and iron clothes. I have to learn how to plant and take care of a garden without killing everything in it. I have to learn how to be a NURSE and a WIFE. Oh my goodness!!!!

Looking forward, the future is so so so exciting. I'm not sad about growing up or moving on with my life. It's just starting to hit me. This will be my last Christmas as a "kid" at home. I could be cooking my own Thanksgiving meal next year (although not likely, it still seems crazy!). Josh and I will be our own family next year. I will be a Nurse in two years. In the real world. With a real job. No teachers or "help". No fake  nursing scenarios. Life really is moving on and I really am growing up. Not just playing house or pretending to be a doctor.. This is the real deal!

But right now, I have one month. No school. No job. I do have wedding plans to think about, but nothing to really start on for at least another month or two. So here I sit. In the middle of my past and my future. Remembering so many sweet times, and looking forward to what may be. So I don't really know what to do with this month. I'm thinking about getting a little job or maybe volunteering at the Ark Animal Shelter. I'm not really sure. God will have the ultimate say-so. I think this will be a great preparation time before the madness of Nursing School and wedding plans really start. Just a sweet time for me to grow more in love with my Abba Father. To let HIM prepare my heart for these future events. So HE can make me into the wife and nurse that HE wants me to be. For HIS glory.

This blog won't have much of a conclusion.. Just had all of that on my mind and thought it would help to get it out. Maybe someone out there knows what I'm going through. A mixture of deep sadness over truly growing up, yet inexplicable happiness about becoming the woman God wants me to be.

Please be in prayer for me during this time. I'd really appreciate it. =]

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope"

--Jeremiah 29:11