Uncommitted

I have this really bad habit of starting things and not sticking with them. Example #1- If you know me, you know I am addicted to Pepsi. I've tried over & over again to cut back or completely stop drinking it, but I always give up in a week or less. How pitiful is that? Another example is my lack of consistency with exercise. Before my wedding, I got in an awesome routine of getting up every day at 5:00AM, doing my exercise video (either Hip Hop Abs or a Jillian Michaels DVD) and then I'd walk Molly afterwards. Every. Single. Day. I was in the best shape of my life, I was happy with the way I looked, and for once I felt comfortable in my own skin. Then I got married, went on my honeymoon, came home, and I haven't been consistent with exercise since. Ugh. There are a million other examples of my commitment issues, but I will spare you the details. I will tell you that I have had this problem just about my whole life.

I am a quitter.
Why can't I stick with anything?

SO anyways... I thought maybe if I start blogging some weekly commitments, maybe I'll feel more inclined to stick with them? Not sure how many people, if anyone, reads this.. But hey, I'm putting it out there in writing so maybe I will think about that before I sputter out and give up.

Week One. 
I am thinking I will start small this week. You know, nothing too drastic. I don't want to set myself up for failure. Now y'all don't laugh at me, but I am thinking this week I will try to drink more water. Simple, right? The reason I'm thinking about starting here is because my excess consumption of soda + my decrease in water intake has led to quite the ugly breakout. All over my face. Grrreat. I've been stressed over work (see my last post), and when I get stressed I want Pepsi. I crave it. Like mouth watering, can't focus, need it right now crave... Pitiful. I know. So I've been on a dehydrated sugar high for the past few weeks and it has done nothing good for me. So this week I am committing to drink at least 48oz, or 6 cups, of water per day. Geeze. Now that I typed that, it sounds like the wimpiest committment ever. What a dork. But again, I've gotta start somewhere. Don't hate!

Well, here goes nothing. Let the hydration begin! :)

"Welcome to cray cray"

Well as most of you know, I am now working at Huntsville Hospital as a Labor & Delivery nurse! :) I got my job offer in the middle of May, went through the hospital's nursing orientation the second week in June, and hit the ground running on L&D the next week. Whoa, has it been a whirlwind of a month since starting orientation. I am so so blessed to get a 16 week orientation to the unit (THANK GOODNESS) before I have to be "on my own". I am on week 7 right now. Ya'll, I had no clue what being an L&D nurse entailed. Sure, I precepted there as a student for 3 months... But working there as a licensed RN is a completely different world. I am held to a higher standard. I have to chart under my own name, so if something goes down, they will look back and see my name. I am responsible. Some of you may not understand the magnitude of this, but it is huge. And scary. And overwhelming.

Since receiving my job offer in May, I've told many people that I am an L&D nurse, and most of the time I get "aww what a fun job!" or "oh that must be the happiest job ever!" -- eeeek. Not so much. Yes, for the most part my days have been full of joy and excitement as babies are welcomed into the world.. BUT I have also had days where I could barely hold myself together due to sadness. I've been terrified. I've felt like an idiot. I've cried myself to sleep. From what I can tell over the past few weeks, as an L&D nurse our job will bring the very highest highs, along with the very lowest lows.

Labor & Delivery nursing is a crazy unique (and CRAZY challenging) job, especially for a new graduate. Jade (my nurse manager) told me this during my interview and asked if I was up for it. Wow- she was not kidding. I have to be a pre-op nurse, a circulating OR nurse, a PACU/recovery nurse, a scrub/surgical nurse, a baby nurse, a labor nurse, an antepartum nurse .... Ok, really? That is like 7 separate jobs. Talk about overwhelmed!!!

All of that being said, I wouldn't want to work anywhere else. I work with some awesome women who check up on me when they know I've had a hard day. They've encouraged me when I've made a big dummy of myself. They've challenged me to think harder and not be so timid and afraid. They push me beyond what I think I can do. I am learning so much from them, and I'm so excited to be joining their team.

So back in May when I announced my first job offer on Facebook, Amy Hall commented on it and said "welcome to cray cray" -- Little did I know, those were the most accurate words to describe what the first month of my RN experience would be like! Welcome to the world of L&D nursing, eh? :)